2 posts from August 2008

My last blog was a little disinheriting.  I lost my Mika.  I keep saying to myself that she is now running around with her sister and two uncles, but this weekend I lost it.  I guess I never had the chance to process it.  I kept myself busy as much as possible.  I went to work the next day and dove in and focused, and the weekend I stayed as busy as possible.  Kim processed last weekend.  I knew she needed her alone time but I guess I wasn't ready.  This weekend she is at work, so I am by myself.  I woke up yesterday and looked over at her night stand and her box is there.  I didn't even realize that Kim went and picked up her ashes.  As soon as I saw it, I lost it.  Tears filled my eyes, and all I could remember was the weeks after picking her up from the cattery 14 years ago.

Mika was so beautiful when we picked her up at 10 weeks.  She was so tiny I put her in my shirt pocket.  She would find me every night and fall asleep on my chest.  After a week when she didn't seem to grow, we took her to the vet and found she was harboring two parasites.  We nursed her back to health and she started growing like a weed.  Unfortunately, she was traumatized by us giving her medicine so she never did sleep on my chest again.  She became this skittish cat that would only be petted when she wanted comforting.  She did get better as the years went on, but she remained tightly wound until she knew you.  She loved her sister Mali though.  Any chance, she got she would curl up next to her.  Mali would tolerate it for a while, but then she would usually take off.  Mali was the alpha and knew it.

A few weeks ago, Mali started losing weight.  She didn't act any differently other than staying in her box a little longer than usual.  We did  see her eat, but I noticed when she would come on the bed for her nightly TLC I could feel her ribs.  That was how we diagnosed Mali with cancer, so I of course was frightened.  Kim took her to the vet and we found out she lost a tooth and had the roots just hanging out in her mouth.  They became infected, and the vet put her on antibiotics prior to surgery.  It went just as expected.  The medication extinguished the infection and the surgery capped the hole in her mouth.  She began to eat like a horse and she took her medicine without any issues.  She even started playing with her little brother.

On Wednesday, August 13 she went to the beauty parlor, the groomer, and according to Doug, her stylist, she did not act any different than usual.  Just to give some background, Doug is the only known person I know that was able to pick her up without her crying for help.  She really loved him and he was fond of her.  On this day, everything was going well, so we thought.  This groomer was highly investigated prior to us using them.  We do that with vets, and groomers.  (This should be no surprise since we do not have children.  Our cats are our children.)  The pets are individually checked on every 10-15 minutes.  I guess Doug went to check on Mika and she was flopped over on her side.  She usually does not do this at the groomer so he was a little concerned so he opened up the cage and she wasn't breathing.  He picked her up and ran her over to the animal hospital a couple of blocks away.  Another associate immediately called Kim and told her and of course she dropped everything and high-tailed it over to the animal hospital, and actually got stopped by a cop on the way.  (No ticket, the cop understood.)

At the animal hospital they intubated her and brought her back.  She looked to be fine, and then she coded again.  Kim called me and I also sped to the animal hospital as well from Brandon.  They brought her back a second time, but she was brain dead.  Kim wanted me to be able to say goodbye, but when she coded the third and last time, she told them to let her go.  I didn't make it.  I got there in record time, but when I rushed into the room she was covered in a towel.  Kim was holding her and petting her.  She was gone.  I completely lost it.  She was getting better and then suddenly she was gone.  I didn't know what to do, I just picked her lifeless body up from the table and held her.

 She was my Mika, the one who would only get her TLC if I was on the bed.  The one who cried at the door of our condo in DC when I was left for training, or when I got sent here.  She slept in my shoes when I wasn't around.  I am just as lost as last April when Mali's light was extinguished.  My heart hurts, my appetite is next to nothing and the only thing that brings me out of it is work.

Anyway, so that's the story.  I am not sure any of you actually wanted to read about it, but of course I do not do this for other people.  Well not most of the time.

Love, Life, Peace and Success!!

"Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy." - Eskimo Proverb

I can't believe she's gone.

I will miss you. 
I know you are now with your sister and that is a good thing.
I love you.